the migrant wife

Time seems constantly to be both abundant and scarce when you’re a stay at home mum. You start the day with a to-do list of a few meagre inconsequential things, and suddenly it’s 9am and you’ve changed 5 nappies, did breakfast, washed up, cleaned the floors, put away laundry, and started dinner, and it doesn’t seem like you’ve made a dent in that hastily-composed to-do list sitting at the edge of the dining table. 

However, while a mum’s time seems to expand and contract, swell and subside, availability is a whole other matter. Being available requires a stretch of surrendered time that is unoccupied and unconquered by any predetermined purpose. But it also requires conscious volition: willing to be at service. I think being available is one of the best gifts a mother can give to her family and community.

I started thinking about availability when I realised that I was the one people called upon when they needed a hand with an errand, or to sit and chat with on a dreary Monday afternoon, or to pick someone up from an unexpected hospital appointment. I was free, yes, but I also was available, and that has given me an entirely new perspective on ‘it is more blessed to give than to receive’ – indeed, this included the giving of time and one’s availability. 

Reverence… Repentance… Released for service

Recently I started my personal study in the book of Isaiah, and I hadn’t realised how much of a model of ‘an available disciple’ Isaiah was until I reached chapter 6. Perhaps in a vision, Isaiah saw ‘Lord, high and exalted, seated on a throne; and the train of his robe filled the temple’ (6:1) and accompanying angels singing praises of God’s holiness. The scene bursts with holy awe and incredible praise, and almost soul-shaking terror, if it was me who witnessed this. Pillars shaking, temple smoking, voices roaring, the earth convulsing, we hear a terrified voice: 

“Woe to me!” I cried. “I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the Lord Almighty.” (6:5)

Isaiah is aware of his uncleanness before a holy, clean, awesome, terrifying God. Yet the solution to his problem comes swiftly in the next couple verses: as the hot coals from the altar touched his lips, he was cleansed:

“See, this has touched your lips; your guilt is taken away and your sin atoned for.” (6:7).

What relief! What jubilation! God has provided a way. Isaiah didn’t continue on his merry way, but he heard God’s call for someone to send, someone who will go for God– and he responded: 

Here am I. Send me! (6:8)

I have heard many mobilising messages using this verse. Indeed, we should be willing to go to the ends of the earth for the Lord! Isaiah was cleansed and set apart for service. That was his willing response. How much different is it to our situation, where Christ died for us, “the just for the unjust, that He might bring us to God” (1 Peter 3:18)? …where we have been cleansed by Christ with the washing of the Word (Ephesians 5) and continue to be cleansed of our sin (1 John 1:7-9)? …where we can step into our real self as ‘God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.’ (Ephesians 2:10)? 

We have been equipped with everything that Isaiah had been given, and so much more. No we might not have had visions of a smoking Temple, but we have the Lord Jesus Christ, and ‘we have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.’ (John 1:14) Instead of seraphim touching live coals on our lips, our Lord Jesus cleanses us from iniquity, and isn’t He far greater than all principalities (Colossians 1:15-17)? Instead of hearing God’s call for us for a specific purpose like Isaiah did, we hear God’s voice from His word, telling us to bring the gospel to the ends of the earth (Matthew 28:16-20), to redeem the time, for the days are evil (Ephesians 5:16), to make the most of every opportunity regarding outsiders (Colossians 4:5). 

We are given every chance and circumstance to say, ‘Here am I. Send me!’

Heart matter, not a Busy-ness matter

Prior to my study in Isaiah, I spent lots of time in 1 and 2 Samuel. David had plenty of Here am I, Send me! moments.  He was chiefly described as a ‘man after God’s own heart’ (1 Samuel 13:14), and that wasn’t when he was king, and he wasn’t even anointed yet. He was described as being a man of God when he was herding sheep in the mountains. In fact, recalling his days as a shepherd, he saw the Lord’s hand in protecting him, he relied on God instead of himself, even in the relatively small domain he was given (sheep, versus a nation): 

The Lord who rescued me from the paw of the lion and the paw of the bear will rescue me from the hand of this Philistine. (1 Samuel 17:37)

The context to that verse was important too: David was bringing some supplies to his older brothers at the front line of the battle against the Philistines. Apparently he had something else to be doing, as Eliab had pointed out: 

When Eliab, David’s oldest brother, heard him speaking with the men, he burned with anger at him and asked, “Why have you come down here? And with whom did you leave those few sheep in the wilderness? I know how conceited you are and how wicked your heart is; you came down only to watch the battle.” (17:28)

However, on this occasion, he listened to his father’s instruction and went to visit his brothers. It was there that he heard how the Philistines taunted God and His people. He was indignant. Someone overheard and told this to the king (Saul, at the time), and David volunteered to go fight against Goliath. He was at the right place at the right time. God provided the circumstances for him to say yes, and even the experience to give him confidence, and David, being after God’s own heart, volunteered. He wasn’t in a hurry to go back to his day-job (presumably he had left the sheep in safe hands). He knew that this was where God wanted him, despite his busy-ness. Being available meant having a heart after God’s own heart. 

It is also possible to be not busy, but also unavailable. Being idle doesn’t mean being available. David’s life also exemplified this.

The biggest moral failing of David’s life was his adulterous affair with Bathsheba. Notably, at the beginning of the account, Joab and the entire Israelite army was out at war, destroyed the Ammonites and besieged Rabbah. But David was not there. He was in Jerusalem in the comfort of his kingly abode. David ‘got up from his bed and walked around on the roof of the palace.’ (2 Samuel 11:1-2) 

That was when he gave himself over to the temptation to be with Bathsheba, and then wilfully covered up his sin with deceit, and finally murder of Uriah (see 2 Samuel 11-12 for more). Out of this came frightful judgment on him and his family, including the heartbreak of rebellion, death of beloved children, and the horrible shame and pain for his daughter. 

David wasn’t busy then – he was the opposite of busy! But his heart was wandering, his hands were idle, and there was an itch that he couldn’t scratch – that was when he sinned. He wasn’t available for service, he was available to sin. It reminded me of Paul’s exhortation to the Thessalonian church: 

…make it your ambition to lead a quiet life: You should mind your own business and work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody. (1 Thessalonians 4:11-12)

Perhaps being ‘busy with your hands’ is far better wisdom than it first seems! Godly industry is a remedy to idle hearts. Being available involves aiming to live an upright life, steering clear of sloth and its associated vices. May we be found busy for the Lord at His coming!

Other-centred joy!

Sometimes, we mistakenly believe that if we are obedient to the Lord’s call, if we were willing and did all the right things, then our names will be decorated with success stories, and we can rest easy knowing that we did it. However, I don’t think that’s the point of being available and obedient. Hushai the Arkite was obedient – tick. He was available – tick. However, his availability and obedience paved way for David’s success primarily, not his own. Being available for Hushai did not mean becoming the main character. 

A closer look at the context of Hushai the Arkite’s political career will reveal that he had been a faithful friend to David despite Absalom’s coup (1 Chronicles 27:33), and he wept and mourned for David when that happened (2 Samuel 15:32). The problem that David faced at the time was that Ahithophel, one of his counselors, had defected and joined Absalom in his coup, so he prayed that God would turn Ahithophel’s “counsel into foolishness”(2 Samuel 15:31) 

Hushai the Arkite came at just the right time and he was instrumental in thwarting Ahithophel’s counsel. Ahithophel suggested mounting a small, surprise attack (which was actually sound advice), but as a spy, Hushai counseled Absalom to personally lead a mighty army to wipe out David’s forces, and Absalom trusted Hushai!

Absalom and all the men of Israel said, “The advice of Hushai the Arkite is better than that of Ahithophel.” For the Lord had determined to frustrate the good advice of Ahithophel in order to bring disaster on Absalom. (2 Samuel 17:14)

Absalom was thus delayed, and enabled David’s men to strike first – Hushai even sent men to inform David of this plan, securing David’s eventual victory against Absalom. Through Hushai, God accomplished His plans, not for Hushai the Arkite himself, but to secure David’s throne and fulfil His promises to David. I can’t help but imagine what Hushai’s response to this would have been. It wouldn’t have been, “I can’t believe I didn’t secure anything for my name. Everything seems to revolve around David – that’s not fair.” 

It could very well have been a response of awe and thankfulness. He must have been so humbled that the Lord would be pleased to use him to accomplish His purposes and establish David’s dynasty. Being available, for Hushai, did not mean personal gain, but a willingness to participate in God’s known purposes, and to rejoice whatever role He had prepared. It also means trading in self-importance with humility in service.

What for?

I have been suitably inspired by our friends Isaiah, David and even Hushai. Today, as I console a teething baby as he rejects his much-needed nap and insists on playing, I know that I have been called to be available as a mother. I long to see what significance all of this service has. Maybe like Hushai, I will see the Lord accomplish His purposes before my very eyes. Or perhaps my experience will be similar to Isaiah, who did not see the Lord fulfil a large part of his prophecy during his lifetime. 

Either way, my heart will rejoice in knowing that phone calls, requests, and interruptions to my day are only opportunities for me to exercise my obedience. Each one of them is a chance for me to give the gift of my availability which is precious in God’s sight.